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airbear320

  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Brand New Attitude

    Hi! I think this is a good, intriguing start but it needs some work. How about we go through sentence by sentence, since this is pretty short? :) The heels ...

    May 18, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: (Chpt 1)...While I Pondered, Weak and Weary...

    Hi Storyweaver! I'm back for more! :) So, this is good, but still needs a little bit of work. I'm just going to go through from the beginning and nitpick ...

    May 16, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Prologue: Once Upon a Midnight Dreary...

    Hi Storyweaver! I'm just going to do a quick review on this since I didn't find many mistakes. :) This was a great prologue! It had a good hook and ...

    May 16, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: 12:04 Part one

    Hello Aussie! Right off just let me say "Great job!" I just loved this. :) There really isn't too much to critique. You have good grammar, your story seems solid. ...

    Jan 17, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: The Band (prologue)

    Hello! This is very promising for your first story. I'll try and help you make the prologue shine a little more. :) First of all, grammar. My names Emma, and ...

    Jan 17, 2010
  • Other » General, General Re: My Quote!!

    Umm . . . is that supposed to be an inspirational quote or a quote mocking faith? It kind of seems like the latter. So if that's what you were ...

    Dec 21, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Everyman (part 2 of 2)

    Oooo! This is just fantastic! It gave me goose bumps. :) There were a few more nitpicks in this one than the first part, so let's get started, shall we? ...

    Dec 20, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Everyman (part 1 of 2)

    Wow. That's really about all I can say! I loved this a lot! At first I was kind of confused by the different POV's, but by the end I liked ...

    Dec 19, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Serce. Part Two. Revised.

    Okay. I agree with euro. This just didn't seem as good as part one. I was constantly confused with everything that was going on. You throw so much information at ...

    Dec 16, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Serce. Part One

    Okay, first off can I just say your writing style is GORGEOUS!!! I loved reading this. It was amazing! :D There's just a couple things. I agree with euro. There ...

    Dec 15, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: Tell me what you think, ok?

    Hey Jayden! First of all, I think the idea of the story is great, but we need more clues. We need more clues as to what she would be doing ...

    Dec 15, 2009
  • Other » General, General Re: Faith

    This is aweseome! I love findings things about faith and God on here. It reminds me that there are other people out there who still believe in these things. :D ...

    Nov 2, 2009
  • Short Story » General, General Re: the mark......prolouge

    Hey Jane! Here's a quick review on your prologue. :) First of all, I think this is a really cool idea! Children with the abilities of animals and a mark ...

    Nov 2, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: A Whispered Secret - Chatper 1 *Arrival*

    Hey Random! Back for chapter one. :D First, some nitpicks. I’m a fourteen-year-old girl who just moved from Florida to North Dakota. I'm confused. They just moved to North Dakota, ...

    Oct 24, 2009
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Always High Standards

    Hey there Tapatia! I'm going to be doing a quick review on your piece today. First, a few nitpicks: Senior year has proven to be the most difficult yet You ...

    Oct 24, 2009


Not tryna sound like a houseplant but sometimes all you need is food water and sun and suddenly everything is better
— Quillfeather