aeroman

I wasn't entertained by it and I didn't find any meaning out of it. The only good thing I can point out is that you have a fantastic descriptive ability. ...

Hey, Gyr! How are ya?! I’ve only read the first section up to the part where the slave and Erabon leave the meeting, but the focus of my critique will ...

Hi there, welcome to the site. The first thing I would recommend is separating the story into paragraphs when posting it. I realize you did that in whatever program you ...

I have no idea how you wrote so much about someone's smile. It just flowed so nicely. Wonderful job wiggy. I really enjoyed it. Nothing wrong stuck out to me. ...

Hey Snoink, Long time no see. I really liked the middle and the end. I didn't like the beginning. The reason why is because it just appears like something bad ...

Hi there! All righty, first off one of the most important things about stories is having good punctuation and spelling. Your short story is filled with errors that could be ...

Broken Wings, I love your writing style. The whole story flows really well. One thing that threw me off though was that the whole time up until the protagonist gets ...

Lately, I've got into this habit where I don't critique something unless I really think it has potential. I will usually read the first couple of paragraphs (I figure if ...

I really loved the child character that the whole thing was from his perspective. It really brings an interesting light to the otherwise depressing setting that the story is placed ...

Overall, I actually like the idea you have going, but you really need to elaborate (you don't have much yet). I realize and acknowledge what other people have said. If ...

Okay, a couple of things, I would not recommend you use this as your opening unless you make it an immediate scene. You may ask what is an immediate scene? ...

Very tough question, both so original and both so unbelievable fantastic. My question is why pick? They both rock, so why pick? in answer to my question I'm not going ...

Hey Zion! Prologue/Chapter 1 Critique Blue Italics = comments on quotes Red Regular Wording = just thoughts on the stuff I'm reading "Would you dare to dream in a world ...

Hey bud! Well I made a promise and I always keep my promises, because you must always keep your promises if you want to keep your friends! Lol and plus ...

Hey Wiggy! Well I promised you I would finish reading it and I did! I loved it! I felt so bad for Anthony. You've written this extremely well. Here is ...