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i really enjoyed reading this. i really liked the construction of the story. it unfolded nicely--you didn't give away too much information at once and you kept the audience on ...

hmmm...nice idea but i am not so fond of the second stanza, especially the "this is serious..." part. it sounds really cliche and you can't get him out of your ...

i left you a comment on your play but in case you didn't see it i thought i'd leave another one here. i read your poem first and thought you ...

i really really liked the script version of this. the poem was good too but i really got the message in the script. i loved the split stage!!! that is ...

i really liked this. i know other posts told you to expand and stuff and you might want to do that a little bit but i would encourage you to ...

i really enjoyed your story. it was quite like a picture book i used to read (but slightly more violent and with a better ending). i liked the demeanor of ...

hmmm...i like it but it's a little confusing to read. i don't know about the parenthases in the second stanza. also, instead of "makes me cling..." i would say "and ...

first off- you have GOT to lenghten your scenes. the audience will see no point in having them so short and they will get tired of waiting through scene changes. ...

wow. that's really good. there was a very strong feeling of helplessness that even the reader could feel. Even though this piece was short, i got a good sense of ...

I rather liked your poem. I liked the way you called the person an "antidepressant". The one thing I might suggest would be to change the first line. It seems ...

wow. that was really interesting. it would be really cool to see it performed. i didn't see too many grammatical errors, not anything major anyway. i just loved how obvious ...

this is pretty good for your first work but i think you could improve it. it's definitely in the draft stage (but that's ok). I like the story line a ...

i liked the theme of your poem and i thought you did a very good job of showing your feelings through it but, i think you could improve it. for ...