abba315

I like this part- I think you write dialogue pretty well, and it was interesting and well-paced. Just a few nitpicks: Covering two locations, we spied on the people approaching. ...

Aww, what a cute poem! I like the length of the lines, it's different and refreshing. It's usually hard to pull off such long lines, but you manage it well, ...

Wow, your writing is impeccable! I don't think I have any nitpicks to offer, which is quite a feat, given that this is a sizable story! Let me just start ...

Oh my god, Origin by Diana Abu-Jaber. It's a pseudo-mystery thriller that I couldn't even finish. It's about a woman who believes she was raised by monkeys, not an adoptive ...

I think this is highly original, and I really like the concept! As most of the other people who have reviewed this, I love the silicon spiders line, it ties ...

Craig rounded a turn at the corner of Baker and Seventh, his hands in his coat pockets. He saw – with a bit of a pang in his stomach [explain ...

“Are we gonna go down to U ncle John’s this year?” asked James, breaking the silence. Christmas time was always the most stressful time of all. I didn’t have the ...

Wow, I really like this poem a lot! It flows very nicely and the emotion is powerful and easily felt. I like the repeating lines, and for some reason your ...

Grammatical nitpicking to ensue! :) Let me just start off by saying that I really like the story idea, and it's very interesting to read. I look forward to the ...

A naïve heart and an innocent soul It’s what you perceive as you gaze at me Façade of strength endures without console My yearning, it’s "My yearning is" sounds better ...

I have to confess I was a little disenchanted with the first one- I agree with Teardrop, it's great until the point where it loses the flow. I would just ...