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Xena

  • Short Story » General, General Re: All Babies Are Blessings (10)

    So im not sure if iguet it... is this like in the future where everybody has to take pills and stuff... but hey... I noticed the ones that had come ...

    Dec 7, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: How Could This Not Be Real?

    hmmm... a couple things... the begginning line, i can taste your smell, i thought i was gonna be reading about one of your acid trips and or flashbacks... were you? ...

    Dec 7, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Doll

    the structure or whatever wasnt bad... but i dont think the feel or the message was there... you know... cuz like what i got was basically your asking if you ...

    Dec 7, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Tiny, Red Ant

    did you write this for a class? any hoosier, i liked it... except for maybe the end, where you said its screams loudened... unless you ment it to be like ...

    Dec 7, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: Killer Instinct - Prologue

    holy moly... huh.. the first thing that struck me was you used alot of 'though's... so my suggestion is... cut down on the thoughs... fur sure! though, of what i ...

    Dec 7, 2008
  • Short Story » Science Fiction, General Re: The Sky's on Fire

    hmmm i enjoy many parts and expressions in this story... except It swallowed up the stars and heaven like a fat, white man. now i love the fat white man ...

    Dec 6, 2008
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Already Won Me - Revised

    hello ellen! So vividly can I remember the day we had met. I dont like this line... consider changing to something better... lol i can just imagine her bunched up, ...

    Dec 6, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Fanfiction, General Re: Welcoming Freedom Chapter 7

    “Look at yourself.” He said. And she did just that. She gasped at her reflection. She touched her face and stared into her own eyes, a brilliant red from being ...

    Dec 6, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Beggar's Utopia -- Chapter Two

    Hello im xena and ill be your review for the day! :smt038 Pain punched into his lungs as he sucked in air through burnt his throat, bruising his insides i ...

    Dec 6, 2008
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: Moonsong

    1. the beginning... the descriptions get pretty elaborate... not nescessarliy a bad thing, except here its hard to follow and picture and stuff... glistening black meadows rolling across planes farthe

    Dec 5, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Slow Play

    what? this is about baseball? how in the hell did you figure that one out? is... poem about how baseball is always there and you cant get rid of it. ...

    Dec 3, 2008
  • Short Story » General, General Re: [deleted]

    first id like to say and ask... do you like that... why do we build castles in the sky song too!? and second... some of the descriptions are great... but ...

    Dec 3, 2008
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: My Life in a Paragraph.

    hello my name is xena and i shall be your REal reviewer for the day... She looked across to the other table at the group of girls, as They laughed ...

    Dec 3, 2008
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: Bells

    The soldier than growled at me like a dog would I'm not terribly good with 'then' and 'than' but I believe in this instance it should be 'then'. Ignore if ...

    Dec 3, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, General Re: Romonin Chronicles: Prologue

    hey well i liked this... but does need editing.. like combining the sentences to make it flow more... and i like the statement... the man carried a breivecase.. except its ...

    Dec 1, 2008


We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove.
— Mark Twain