Wolf

Sorry I'm a bit late! Anna Trueman sat awkwardly beside me outside Room 239, quietly sobbing. I think the 'quietly sobbing' part sounds quite awkward. In my opinion, it would ...

Here to review, sorry I'm a bit late! Like everything else in his life, his normal snack of rich cheeses and exotic juices was becoming bland and mundane. I'm not ...

Wolf here to review! :) These are some of my memories from a certain winter many, many years ago. There's nothing strictly wrong with this sentence, but I feel like ...

My name is Clara Stevenson. Normally I hate this kind of opening sentence, but I think it works in this context. I lost consciousness pulling myself to the lake, only ...

The family was new to the foster system, it was easy to see. Hmm ... as an opening sentence this catches my attention, but it feels kind of awkward. I ...

As usual, nit picks first ;) Dove Redmond opened the door and held it, as he usually did for his classmates when he reached the room first. I really like ...

And run his hands throughout my hair. For some reason, I feel like this would flow a lot better if It were "through my hair" instead of throughout. Just a ...

Here to review as promised! :) Starting with nit picks ... I didn’t understand; it was Saturday afternoon, and no one went to school or worked after noon on Saturday. ...

I'm not very good at reviewing poetry, but I'll try my best ... and ran a figurative cup round the (rib)cage’s bars, I don't really understand this bit about the ...

First, grammar & nit picks ... “Nope, totally legit. Only the handle; the rest of the luggage was nowhere near.” I said. There should be a comma after 'near'. Either ...

I don't know if the messy formatting was on purpose or not, but if it wasn't, I agree with the previous two reviewers - it would flow a lot better ...

Clearly your absence hasn't had a negative effect on your writing abilities! I loved reading that - it was wonderful. Now for some nit picks ... I just skimmed your ...

It is midday. I am walking down the street, my hands in my pockets and my head down. This isn't really a very interesting first sentence. "It is midday" helps ...

Hey :) I think this is a good base for a poem, but not actually a poem yet. Does that make sense? :s You have all these emotions, which is ...

Hey :) I have to admit to not reading the critiques you've gotten so far as my dad wants to use the computer in ten minutes, so sorry if I ...