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Whitewings

  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Drowning

    OI! you're harsh on me cuz you care! 1.Starting with the first and second line, " f ear" and the " f eel" make the reading a bit awkward. It ...

    Dec 29, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Deleted

    It's really got a good pace and the plot is getting interesting. I don't do exact quotes for nitpicky stuff, but I do have just two things: 1. When the ...

    Dec 29, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Prophecy of Elwen Prolouge

    This is a really good piece of writing :D There's just a couple of things that I picked out: 1. Some of the senteces are missing punctuations, it might seem ...

    Dec 11, 2007
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Better off dead

    I liked this poem alot because it was easy to follow, and the descriptions were very vivid. There's just two parts that seems a bit out: 1. "brain pumped with ...

    Nov 10, 2007
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: "The World"

    To start: 1. In the beginning, it's a bit unclear when you say that "I wish the world today was just like you". Who exactly is you? This is because ...

    Nov 2, 2007
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Nano-Prologue

    K, let's see: 1. When you're writing in first person, it should not take that long for the name and gender to be introduced. Generally, it should the first thing. ...

    Nov 2, 2007


Poetry and prayer are very similar.
— Carol Ann Duffy