WarthogDemon

While I understand this was written on the spot, a lot of it unfortunately doesn't work too well. As she slowly undressed herself, I waited in agitating suspense. Agitating suspense ...

Run on sentences can be very tricky to use as they usually just spiral out of control. However I think you avoided overusing them. Wish you were sat in your ...

E ven when trouble comes and it seems that That's the only line that doesn't seem to fit. All the other lines sound good, but that one just sounds . ...

Hmm, I can relate to this. (Even though I'm male. :?) People like those should be smacked. Hard. No typoes that I can see except that "quite" should be "quit" ...