Wandwaver

Um...I love SW. And I can see that, while being unconventional, you're sticking to some basic structure; title, space, start with an action scene. But, you have to remember that ...

Man, o man, was this a treat! Got it opening day, and finished day after! Here's my rants and raves. First off, I had no clue that Snape was the ...

I must say this. YOU ROCK! Whenever an author tries to do something "cute" like this, there are invarably one of two results, especially when they don't usually write in ...

I didn't have time to read all this properly, but the first part seemed exciting. Still needs work, but an extremally promising start. One suggestiong. Unless you plan to use ...

I didn't think it was bad, just a little rough around the edges. For instance, does the "lonely warrior" have a name? It gets awkward calling him "the lonely warrior" ...

A prologue should catch the reader's attention so that they are irrevocably lost in your world. Here, basically, all you did was state that a new shipyard had been christened. ...

It is good, but remember that every time a new character speaks, you start a new paragraph. It's just confusing otherwise. Each paragraph needs to develop one thought, sight, or ...

Aside from a few grammatic errors, this was good. You tell a good deal about the character without any details. He is very well described. If this was a preface ...

Um....I'm new here, and haven't read Chapter 1, if there is one posted. But I thought this was very well done. The fire scene was excellant. Very real. I have ...