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  • Short Story » Fanfiction, General
    Re: STAR WARS: Phantoms and Shadows

    Um...I love SW. And I can see that, while being unconventional, you're sticking to some basic structure; title, space, start with an action scene. But, you have to remember that ...

    Oct 17, 2006

  • Article / Essay » Review, General

    Man, o man, was this a treat! Got it opening day, and finished day after! Here's my rants and raves. First off, I had no clue that Snape was the ...

    Jul 19, 2005

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General
    Re: No Job Too Small (part two of two)

    I must say this. YOU ROCK! Whenever an author tries to do something "cute" like this, there are invarably one of two results, especially when they don't usually write in ...

    Jun 20, 2005

  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General
    Re: The Room...my novel

    I didn't have time to read all this properly, but the first part seemed exciting. Still needs work, but an extremally promising start. One suggestiong. Unless you plan to use ...

    Jun 18, 2005

  • Short Story » Fantasy, General
    Re: The Lonely Warrior

    I didn't think it was bad, just a little rough around the edges. For instance, does the "lonely warrior" have a name? It gets awkward calling him "the lonely warrior" ...

    Jun 6, 2005

  • Short Story » Science Fiction, General
    Re: Space Station 6

    A prologue should catch the reader's attention so that they are irrevocably lost in your world. Here, basically, all you did was state that a new shipyard had been christened. ...

    Jun 5, 2005

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General
    Re: Chronicles of Davinia - part 2

    It is good, but remember that every time a new character speaks, you start a new paragraph. It's just confusing otherwise. Each paragraph needs to develop one thought, sight, or ...

    Jun 5, 2005

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General
    Re: Chronicles of Davinia - (prolog)

    Aside from a few grammatic errors, this was good. You tell a good deal about the character without any details. He is very well described. If this was a preface ...

    Jun 4, 2005

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General
    Re: Heroes of the Elven Lands:Chapter two

    Um....I'm new here, and haven't read Chapter 1, if there is one posted. But I thought this was very well done. The fire scene was excellant. Very real. I have ...

    Jun 4, 2005

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— S.E. Hinton