VampireBloodrace

I'll edit it now, but the whole point of this piece is to be confused. The MC doesn't understand what is going on in the world around him/her. And that ...

Awwww :cry: . I liked this piece a whole ton!!! And it was so sad! Your very good at showing action in your stories and I liked how you started ...

Well, thanks for the critique! - Hm.....I'll see what I can do about that. - Well, I don't know if that is very important, but i'll see if i can ...

Yes, thank you both for the comments. This is something I had written a while back and I did want to see what the reaction of the readers was. I'll ...

Yeah, this isn't the only of my works which that has happened to. It seems to be rather popular here :)

Thanks, Swottielottie, your critique definitely helped. I'll see what I can do about the dialogue....because they are supposed to be somewhat the same, but if it gets so confusing that ...

Re edited

It is edited!!!

EDITED

Aloe, thank you for the great critique. I'll see what I'm willing to change and I'll edit it soon! If you're interested, I'd be quite ecstatic if you could review ...

Well, that was....interesting. I like how you portrayed Gaara's point of view. By the way, you spelled guilt wrong. I suggest revising for some awkward capitalizing.

I'm sorry if this sounds confusing and if it does - tell me! I'll do my best to fix it! Please bear with me! I've been kinda absent minded lately ...

bad! I meant Carrison

I loved the details! And I actually read the whole thing! Usually, when there are a bunch of details, I skip the paragraph or stop reading the story. Very intriguing ...

I have re-edited! Btw, Sasuke and I don't live together anymore!!!!!!