Twit

Coo, Elvina's flirting! Well, a bit, anyway. :) Only a few typos here that you can see for yourself if you do a careful proof-read.

Good. Just a few typos here and there, and some sentances could be worded a bit better, but otherwise, fine!

Woo! Action and *cough* and *whispers* romance. Your dialogue is VERY good here. :D -ST

I didn't really understand this, sorry. It sounded nice and all, and you've got some good words and phrases in here, but like lots of poetry, it just went over ...

Man, Amber's back now, is she? I'm still not sure whether she's being honest, but I s'pose Jamie really needs some support right now. -Twit

Oh this is sad. But I do think that Jamie's mum deserved that. Nyah. Great chapter once again, JC!! -Twit

Yup, but you still need what is called "technical accuracy" which is getting your spelling and grammer and wording and all right.

Can you post the next installments as seperate posts, and not add them onto the first one? It makes it easier. :D My head hurts, so I won't nitpick the ...

Very nice. As a piece of poetry, I can't crit this, but just reading it, it sounds very nice. And the last line ends it nicely. :D -ST

I like making characters. Do you want to make a character, and then I'll crit them and run the Mary-Sue litmus test and all? It's fun - my problem is ...

Well, at least you're good at fanfiction, so don't knock it. I write fanfiction. :razz: What is it you don't think is good in your non-fanfic stories?

This is rather confusing. Sorry. But yes, where's a mod?

Coo! Thanky both of yez for the crits! :D I think I do tend to misuse colons. Tolkein scatters them all over the place, so I guess that's got to ...

I think the point of it was that it was predictable. It was well written, if macabre.

I only read it because of the title, being a devout Sherlockian. It was alright, nothing special, and it wasn't anything I'd read again or recommend to anyone. Perhaps I ...