Twit

Io! He lights a candle. The flame is timid and shy, like a bird that won't eat out of your hand. *love* My chest is really tight and compressed and ...

Hi! First off, it's the Rules that you critique two pieces of work before you post anything of your own, and then keep your revewing and posting at a 2:1 ...

I actually thought that this was really cool. Apart from the one line: His face looks like a beet... Maybe, "his face was red as beet"? But "beet" is rather ...

Hi! This is three times as long as it should be. Huge ammounts of text really put people off reviewing. Cut this down to about five pages, which is as ...

Hi! This was a nice, readable length, and your punctuation and all seemed pretty good, apart from here: "Jessica's mom video taped the whole performance, including your fall, and Jessica ...

Awesomeness. ^_^ Apart from the "son" instead of "soon" that ST mentioned, I didn't see anything really glaring. This was one of those things that you read just to enjoy, ...

Hi! From your title, I assume that this stands by itself and is just a short story? Romantic fiction is never my thing, but even so, this was rather boring. ...

Hi! This was very short, but I think it works fine as a prologue of something bigger. It was easy to read, and the first lines definitely caught my attention. ...

I was five years old when I realized I was different. For a first line, this really sucks. It’s flat, clichéd and boring. Sorry, but there it is. I remember ...

Well, short. :) It pulled my head to one side and I winced when a hair was plucked from my scalp. ONE hair? I can't think right now how you ...

"Reach for the Sky" by Paul Brickhill. It's the biography of Douglas Bader, a pilot who lost both his legs but learned to walk again, fly in the Battle of ...

Woah, this was pretty cool! They still say pole pole? Only in books I read, they said that, but they were written about thirty years ago, so I wondered if ...

The second wolf’s pelt was dark gray, and he had bold eyes the color of honey. How does Aric know that this wolf’s a male? “Your home has been ransacked, ...

The first rays of light were only but beginning to break through the dark of night, and the cold morning air covered the city in a dense fog. This could ...

Also Stepanie Meyers Vampires don't make sense to me she says that ALL there fluids are replaced with vampire venom. *SPOILER* But then it wouldn't be possible for Bella to ...