Twit

The dialogue part doesn’t really go anywhere. It could tell us about the two characters, but it doesn’t. Try and put more personality into their speech – different speech patters, ...

“Are you okay?” -_- Anachronistic, much? The woman was fair-skinned, with long, silver waves cascading down her shoulders. Since when did anyone out of Middle Earth have silver hair? Her ...

during the summer you see legs. you see sweat on calves, the deepness of a girl’s skin. you can look at her and exaggerate the roundness of her breasts, and ...

Hai! Poetry really isn't my strong point, but I'm trying to improve, so I'm afraid you're my guinea-pig. :wink: The main problem I had with this was that it was ...

Yo Bays! I’m not sure whether you’re continuing with this. You have quite a few threads left hanging but it could still work if you left it like this. However, ...

O_O First off, this was incredibly, incredibly long. Split it up into shorter parts -- a lot, lot shorter. As it is, it's far too long and very off-putting to ...

Yo! I really, really enjoyed this. :) It was funny, original and I loved the Shrek-esque feel to it with fairytale characters taking on new roles. Just a few minor ...

Oe io. :) To be honest, I didn't like this that much. It was too fantasy-y for my liking -- dragons, weird names, inns, magic. It's been done so many ...

O hai. ^^ I suck at reviewing and writing poetry, but the only way to get better is to practise so I'm afraid you're my guinea pig of the moment. ...

O yo. ^_^ Well, I don't particularly like your interpretation of the Lady of the Lake, but that's just me. Otherwise, this was well written! Just a few things: A ...

Hi. ^____^ Jeremiah stood, staring out the window before him. It was not a pleasant sight to see through the open space, but then again, was Jerusalem a pleasant place ...

A cry ran from the birthing room from the lungs of a strong baby girl that had unfortunately been brought to life under the Evil moon, the Dark Moon, the ...

Hai! First off, I don’t get why you bolded some parts and meant to italicise others? I hid were I always hide , in the attic silently letting my tears ...

'lo. ^______________^ Well, you said you didn't want nitpicks or grammar, but you really should get it sorted out. You've almost no punctuation, which makes this difficult to read and ...

Claire and Paul were best friends. Claire celebrated her 21st birthday in June and Paul would celebrate his in September. They didn’t see each other as much as they would ...