Trident

Hi AuroraThorne, a few of my thoughts here: Slowly, ever painfully slowly the clock ticked. It never stopped. It just kept going. Always, and forever. But it had a reason ...

Hi niteowl, this is a creepy little thing. Good though. My thoughts: I remember when chocolate still tasted sweet and the wind was a nuisance. Now all I know is ...

Hi wherethewindgoes, my thoughts here on your poem: I thought it was lovely, but there was something about it overall that I just couldn't put my finger on. But after ...

Hey Kylan, it took me a quick search to find we are referencing Ginsberg here. I've read "Howl", but not "America", so I took the time to read it before ...

Hello GeeLyria. A few of my thoughts on your poem: Firstly, the title. I understand that you are trying to create a poem about different perspectives and everything, but to ...

Hi Cailey. Here are some of my thoughts on your poem: One shot of brilliance: A headlight, A beam- Glowing, Beaming, Shining in my eyes. What we have here is ...

Hello kafka, here are my thoughts: meet Mr and Mrs Gordias. they tie knots in the elbows of trees Love the first two lines. It's modern and mythological, suburban and ...

Hi ractavia, here are my thoughts on how to improve this: Right now, we have this juvenile Lolita-type character who feels completely unsympathetic. Unsympathetic! How can we sympathize with that? ...

Hi PandaRawr, here are a few of my thoughts on your lovely poem here: An ear for meter Let me first congratulate you on your use of meter. It's never ...

Hi StateofGrace, welcome to YWS. Here are a few of my thoughts on your poem: The fire engulfed the icy mountains, the sand put the sea water under debris . ...

Hi magpie, here are some of my thoughts: We covered ourselves with curtains of fever while your hand rested upon my back. You shivered beside me, too unwell to notice ...

Hi dogs! Here returning the favor for all the lovely time you have spent on my stuff. Here we go: Jeremy opened his tired eyes to disorienting white light. They ...

Hey sunshine, this is an interesting poem. My thoughts: grind teeth at false premises; attach piece that don't go together because i like the look of a lopsided puzzle. It's ...

Hi Maddymayhem, here are some of my thoughts on your poem: As you entered my life On the golden wings of my guardian angel, You swept me off my feet. ...

Hi SpanishFlower, this poem is nice, but I will give you a little advice on how I think you can make it better: When I see you love is true ...