Trident

This is a nice poem to give to a family member. It's sort of sweet and I'm sure your brother would appreciate it if you were to give it to ...

To me this felt like a jingle that someone might whistle or sing. Not exactly what you want to have for your poetry. I'd say if you want to keeping ...

Lo, Sam! The Beggarboy section was quite well done. The imagery there was vivid and I could see everything happening. The whole idea of the clothes coming down the river ...

Privyet once again! I liked the imagery you used in the poem, but perhaps it could use some more. Also, the words "naught", "nevermore", and "hath" are considered older words ...

Well the two paragraphs seemed to contrast too much. The first has solid imagery and concreteness while the second seemed abstract and dreamy. The first seemed to be in third ...

At first I thought this was a dream, which is...probably not good since that means it wasn't altogether realistic. There were some parts that led me to that opinion, and ...

Hey alleycat. Here's the critique you earned from the contest. ^_^ Firstly, I would do away with the pitter-patter unless you could find some way to fit it into your ...

Here's six. Unanticipated, the evening rain fell in dense curtains, creating puddles in the roads, rippling to watery pentameters, always moving. Always dancing. Streetlights glowed like beacons in th

Once again, my apologies for this taking so long. Cigarette smoke leaked [s]out of[/s] from the small bar - [s]blazing with[/s] neon lights blazing and beer conglomerates in the hazy ...

All right, Jiggity. Here we go. The first two paragraphs were kind of boring. All exposition and the like, and I think I'd like to see more action going on, ...

Hi elephantwalrus. Your first line was absolutely amazing. However, I thought that what followed it in the first stanza wasn't nearly so. We pretty much already know that the pen ...

Hi Lordzim. Conundrum: how can we like it if we haven't read it? And posting on a public forum that is for critiquing is certainly writing to impress. Why else ...

To me, this feels like a "sound poem" where your aim is less to give imagery and profundity and more to please the ears and tongue. That said, the last ...

Hey Evangelina. I must say that I'm pleasantly impressed. entwined with the pale fixtures of nobility and wealth, the hate that is inevitable. I would drop the last line and ...

Hey Myth. I really liked the idea behind the story, the whole color scheme, it felt like "Pepe le Pew". However, I found the scenarios to be frankly boring. Perhaps ...