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Re: Shifters: Chapter 15
Oh my! Could it really be another chappie?? Yes, yes it is. Yehey!!! I really liked this chappie. Especially the parts where Crys was (intentionally) pissing Ben off. That was ...
Tue Sep 28, 2010 9:33 am -
Re: Removed
Oh my goodness. That was so totally awesome!!! It kept me hooked. It made me ignore everything else I was doing. You are one talented young writer my dear. I ...
Wed Sep 08, 2010 11:30 am -
Re: No Weeping
you've got a punctuation mistake, but other than that, it's fine. I really like this poem. It says a lot. There were a few parts where your rhythm was a ...
Tue Aug 31, 2010 1:10 pm -
Re: Let's
My, I really liked this poem. It's got a sort of 'demented- but-well-meaning' feel to it. I liked it. And specially that part about raindrops. Everyone can think of reasons ...
Tue Aug 31, 2010 12:55 pm -
Re: You Wanna Try That Again?
I found it funny. hmm... perhaps amusing is a more suitable word for it. I didn't expect that last line, and it leaves us wondering, "what pick- up line could ...
Tue Aug 31, 2010 12:51 pm -
Re: Deleted.. :(
Well, I "liked" it. Like what almost everyone else has said, you need more depth with your characters. Explain why they do what they do. Doing two perspectives ought to ...
Tue Aug 31, 2010 11:31 am -
Re: haiku for the shipwrecked
Haha, I can't believe I actually cracked it. XD It took me about 45 minutes to... Anyways, I like your haiku. Its short, but covers the important stuff and tells ...
Sun Aug 01, 2010 1:59 pm -
Re: The colour purple
I love it! But um, who's Celie? Anyways, the grammar is okay (thought I think you should've put it at the start). It's quite touching and sweet. I really felt ...
Tue Jul 13, 2010 9:43 am -
Re: Shifters: Chapter 14
Ooh! So cool! loved it. It was so funny. But there was a part that didn't quite seem right. Nicholas said these lines. I assume you're trying to make his ...
Thu Jul 08, 2010 1:52 pm -
Re: Of Sheep
I dunno. It's just so cool. Most poems bore me by the sixth line but yours, well, it was something special. It drew me in. The wording was wonderful but ...
Tue Jun 29, 2010 12:37 pm -
Re: You Were There
Can't do a real review cause we've got school tomorrow so all I'm going to say is, great work! Love the poem. The transition from safety and comfort to the ...
Sun Jun 27, 2010 1:42 pm -
Re: Shifters: Chapter 13
Argh! The others have already done the nitpicking for me. Maybe I should check in more often... :/ Anyway, I loved this chapter! Especially the part about CJ and Crys... ...
Sun Jun 06, 2010 4:37 am -
Re: Shifters: Chapter 11
Ooh.. Loved this chappy!!! I like the bubble scene because, as stated before, you made it easy to visualize. And I also like the fact that she makes sense, she's ...
Mon May 17, 2010 1:14 pm -
Re: Love, Demise and Last Goodbyes ~ Her
Ooh, I like it!!! My Gooshneck! I couldn't stop reading it! I absolutely love it! I noticed something though... "His formally tanned skin..." shouldn't this be formerly tanned? I'm not ...
Sun May 09, 2010 1:26 pm -
Re: Love, Demise and Last Goodbyes ~ Him
Oooh! I love it! Great stuff! I really like the story and the way you write. Reminds me of the CSI episode I watched last night, the guy killed himself ...
Fri Apr 23, 2010 5:41 am
