Torpid

thats nifty, sorry im not very complicated in my reviews...

IT WAS simple, not very elborate, but i have no rreason not to like it. so its okay, could be alot better and longer though. did this really happen?

i dont really do poetry cuz im not good at writing or analyzing it BUT... was cool....

could u make some spaces? pretty please. so its easier to read. cuz i do want to read it, the title is curious.

u tell story in a diff, untraditional way. half documnentary half story, all telling no showing, but tis good. i like it. the second entry was hard to read and ...

I left but came back, lol. I got one more comment. this story seemes original and too many stories arent anymore so keep up the good work.

DUHUDE! nifty, im intwigued...found wanting...KEEP TRUCKING

i was multitasking so maybe like an hour?? dude, thanks for the compliments!! way cool. id like to read some of your wrting some time.

COOL DUDE, thanks for the time and effort and thoughts and stuff. i new i had misspeled some words but MY brain was bein weird. Anywayz, thanks, im off to ...

elaborate so its easier to follow

WELL, first off it was really bad. NO JJ. silly, its a good poem, i think, but i dont do poetry that much. i thought it was cool.

Im editing and revising this old story cuz it could be a lot better...

everybody go to war of e-13...this post is too complicated for me. p.s. i know, i will add more storyline. i always start off with action though..usually, lol

Chapter 1 Christopher Erin McDermot lay on his stomach, a pillow under his crossed arms propped up his chin as he glanced over a clustered and busy piece of paper. ...

Prologue They called him The Elder. Because he was the oldest resident Victorious Gardens Veteran Center had ever seen. Every morning the weathered old man gingerly crept outside the facility ...