ToritheMonster

Thanks. Now, to write part 2.... hmmmm....

Can I get another review, pleasey please? Anyone? Then I'll probably post the next part.

Ah. Filipino. I feel stupid. In that case, nice job on his dialogue. I don't have time now, but ill come back and point out what was wrong later. And ...

You're welcome.

Thanks! I don't know if you really can do this, but I kinda have little mini climaxes in between normal parts. I sure hope that's okay, cuz I've written a ...

Thanks! I'll be sure to review yours. That's a cool plot! I might use some ideas, thanks again. :mrgreen:

Ok. Sorry, I just tend to get harsh. Just.... watch it. It's like, one and the same. Or just change those two lines so as not to anger fans of ...

Thanks, everyone! Yes, I'm sorry it's so short, I typically describe my surroundings, but I had a word limit. And there are 3 more issues left in this year-- so ...

Good idea, thanks!

C'mon, good people of YWS!!!!!! Just one measly review!!!!!!!! that's all I ask of you.................. (that's a song, isn't it?) please???????

Hey, just wondering if i could get some more reviews. If you haven't read the other parts, be sure to click back a few pages. :smt004 --Dreamy :mrgreen: please?

Well, you clarified the trap part, which is good. However, you still have lots of spellings and grammar mistakes, and I still don't understand the pill of bills line. Also, ...

Thanks! Yes, I definitely need to clarify some points. I was trying to make it sound like Sara had gone slightly insane, hence the worship, but I'll add in some ...

Thanks! Don't worry, there's much, much more to come. And also, if you don't see me making any of the changes you say here, I really am. However, I do ...

Thanks! Yes, I'm trying to make it sound like she's going insane and her mind isn't all right-- maybe i need to clarify more. She's not really supposed to be ...