Tiaradyson

You're right about the scorching part, I will fix that

plunging means to dive, as in he fell into a pile of bricks. doesn't mean the floor board is brick ^_^ Scorching is hot, so why should I say scorching ...

Tell me the descriptions that don't sound right please

thanks

You did not help at all. It would have been nice if you pointed things out....

sorry already commented, I repeated myself

But you do understand what she means by exhaust youtube... That phrase exhaust youtube is usually good for poems, Penlorde. nothing more.

for a two or so old, it's not bad.

good advice, thank you

These were perfect agree with you 100% thank you

but I agree 100% and this piece you pointed out. I've been stuck on cause I was wondering whats the right term. "woman's dress shoes" should probably be "women's dress ...

Don't ever do me favors. lol I don't handle favors well, cause I get paranoid like! WTF I bet you're lying. or youre kissing my ass for doing something for ...

I didn't post this in May lol I posted this yesterday lol Thank you and I do need more info on ashen lol it's suppose to be in chapter 2 ...

Before I read, lol you never put two chapters together. It really stops your readers from presuming to read. I will come back tomorrow morning and start. ^_^

I enjoy that story so much. I'd liked to be updated! Wait better yet, can you put your stuff on So I can get notifications on it every time you ...