TheEnigma

Again, there's action you could add, right in the space between these paragraphs: And that’s when he saw it. The bloody handprint smeared across the door frame, scarlet drops slowly ...

I promise I didn't steal your idea, because I started to write it long before I read this. Haha, of course not. It's probably a really common theme.

From what I can read it looks interesting, but is there any way you can make the font a little bigger?

I've never read it, but one of the kids in my English class brought it in for "book show and tell" one day. It looked kind of scary but it ...

Ah. Cool, let me know when you post more.

Was this the last part of a short story or a novel? You've posted it in short stories, but I wondered. It was kind of a really long short story.

If you want help with this you can just PM me. I can break it down paragraph by paragraph with you.

Hey, I'm no Shakespeare or Poe myself, but I like it. I like your rhyme and how you keep repeating the theme of hope being like fire, and light.

This was hilarious. *cackles delightedly* It's always great fun to laugh at Twilight. Nice job with Stephenie Meyer, I was cracking up at that part.

Really, really funny...but...umm...if I read right, Hermione turned herself into moaning Myrtle? Crazy but good.

This is hilarious! I almost fell over laughing...great lyrics. :D

Thanks, Earthfire. Yeah, I get what you're trying to say. It's tricky to write from his point of view with a lot of depth because we don't know as much ...

This is beautiful. Sweet summer story. You have really nice descriptions and dialogue.

Nice, your character has a great voice. That was a really intense first part... I especially liked the last sentence--it was so nonchalant. Definitely keep writing.