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Re: Teardrop
With no desire to make you feel bad, your poem isn't very good... However, I have decided to help you and I've played around with it. I've used your main ...
Nov 25, 2007 -
Re: The Last Living Souls
It's pretty good. First of all, remember your punctuation! I've played around with your poem to add a bit more of flow. Tell me what you think; The morning sun ...
Nov 25, 2007 -
Re: Element of Fear
Nice! I really enjoyed it. There's one main thing to correct; punctuation! Remember to add your commas, periods, and if needed exclamation and question marks. I'd also like to add ...
Nov 24, 2007 -
Re: Teenage Insucrity
It's not bad. I found it pretty intense but it doesn't completely captivate the reader. As Squallz said, your poem is rather a rewrite of many ideas that already exist. ...
Nov 24, 2007 -
Re: Ice Blue Chapter one! (it'll make sense later)
It's a rather entretaining story. Please do check your spelling mistakes and be sure to add more adjectives, for you need more descriptive manners in your story. As for the ...
Nov 23, 2007 -
Re: Shadow of the Heart
Lol... well... It is definately good, but it gets a little too mixed up. However, I insist, it's pretty good and since it was your first poem, I'd joyfully rate ...
Nov 23, 2007 -
Re: U
Funny. Yes, definately funny. I think good short poems are the best ones, for they tend to capture your attention better. Your poem is captivating and nice, but I feel ...
Nov 23, 2007 -
Re: Forget
Great! It is very sad and deep. And as Snoink mentioned, let your beautiful poem flow and don't worry about making it rhyme. And remember, the world is full of ...
Nov 22, 2007 -
Re: Break-Up.
It's quite good, although I'd say that you need more adjectives. For example, you start by writing: "What you need to know is that most of the time, I’m a ...
Nov 22, 2007
