Tenyo

That is awesome! I love the video, and I'm really curious about the story now. If I were to critique I would say if you had some photography skills it ...

Hiya Lupo! I swear I already reviewed this. Maybe the glitchmonster ate it. Anyways, here it goes. The line Somewhere you've got to draw the line on what is creepy ...

Hiya Iggie! To start with, the prologue. I'm not overly keen on the prologue. There's a big description about a girl who is scared, but it doesn't really do much. ...

Hey Rueban That's a big title. What does it mean? First of all I have to say I love the descriptions in this piece, they're beautiful, and you've really managed ...

Hey Narrator "...up on a hill where you could see the river..." Suddenly switching to second person is something that's best avoided. Here you've kind of put your reader in ...

Hey Loxi I like this :) I think it's sweet, and it's a nice change to the common 'you broke my heart so I'll break yours' poems. To say that ...

Hey there Bigfoot To avoid repeating myself I'll simply say that everything I mentioned in the review of page one counts for page two. The narrative, the characters, the big ...

*Edited, with a public apology that my first review was rude and inconsiderate.* Hiya Soulkana! This story is very creative, and that is an aspect I do like about it. ...

Aww, this is sad :( At the end, your character says that he's hoping he'll see 'him' again, does that mean Ice? If so, does he intend on getting revenge? ...

Hey Stargazer I love the style of this piece, and the creativity of it. The way it's told is simple, but sweet, and I think Nathan is a very vivid ...

Hehe, I like it! The rhythm was a little off at places, so I had to read over twice to really get it. 'A-tick-tocking'- I like the sound of the ...

Oo, very nicely written and presented. I'm impressed! Your descriptions are very good and your characters are very lifelike, despite this being such a short piece. You should vary the ...

Hey Summer This is all very Tell but not much Show. For example, instead of saying that Scan was controlled, say that she smiled, and what impression her smile gave ...

Hey there Shepherd I found this poem difficult, and I'm not sure how it can be improved. I didn't really understand what the point behind it is. Most of it ...

Hey Addawen! The opening: I love the opening of this. Not only the quotes, but the way you've used them to introduce your character. It grabbed my attention and instantly ...