Tenyo

Hey Kafk! I like this poem in its simplicity. You've taken a very basic thought and laid it on the page without all the extra frills. I think maybe it's ...

Hey Drax! I haven't read the rest of the novel, so I'm basing this review on the single chapter alone. If you can't explain it simply... You don't understand it ...

Sushi! Hammer time. To start; the art of sentences. Every sentence must portray a complete thought (let's ignore those strange 'techniques' they teach you in primary school.) Every verb needs ...

Hey lacy! This is short but sweet, it has quite a fairytalish quality to it. A few things to pick on though. Names You use names a lot, in the ...

Hey msgold! Like most lyrics, this probably sounds much better with the music. The way I put it though is that music is words that have sound to go with ...

Hey Lauren! You haven't written any reviews, but this looks important so I'll glance over it. The idea of the Influence question is to see what kind of people you ...

This is a really interesting short story, I like how it turned out in the end, the way it mimics the beginning. I'll avoid nit-picking because I think there is ...

Hey Tom >.> Interesting story - pretty weird. So, characters: In the beginning you tell too many basics about Tom's appearance. What you need is something that stands out. Hazlenut ...

I'm impressed with what you've done with this! So I'm afraid I can't offer too much critisism. If anything, I would say tweak it a bit to help it flow ...

Hey Armstronge! This is a very, very long chapter, and consists mostly of speech. Not only does that make it more difficult to read, but it's hard to keep track ...

The last line: I'm not sure how other readers will take this, but I think the last line is a bit too hangy. It seems to be a poem of ...

Hey Charlotte! I'm here to raid your portfolio. Maybe critique your novel while I'm here :) First things first! Should you write more? Of course! One of the most crucial ...

I'm Back! I like the way this chapter is written compared to the last, it's much better written, the last one seemed a bit forced. So, what to comment on? ...

And finally part four. Paragraphs: Big, chunky paragraphs are hard to read. You don't seem to have done it much in the previous chapters, but this one is full of ...

Ello again. I've not found much to critique on for this chapter. The story seems to be told in a slightly fairy-taleish way, as if it's written for young children, ...