Tenyo

Hey BoneDaddy Welcome to YWS! Let's jump straight into this work, shall we. Presentation! Remember that there is a difference between writing for yourself and writing for others to read. ...

Hey Artemis Let's jump straight in :) Names: Unless it is going to be of some obvious importance later, writing down your characters full name (especially when they have four ...

Hey tigershark! First suggestion: I would recommend breaking this into two shorter chapters rather than having a tail of dots in the middle. If it was a particularly long chapter ...

Quicktip: This work is reaally long, which means people aren't going to be overly keen on reviewing it. If you want to attract reviewers you should post it in three ...

Ello again! Whosi whatsi's It might be worth me mentioning now that character names are a good thing to have. Keep them simple and memorable. Remember that whenever you use ...

Ello again. I'm going to nitpick my way through this one. "gun, pointing to the // witch and he quickly trigged it. " < I don't know what this is ...

Great opening! I thought I wouldn't enjoy it because it's quite simple, but I really did. You set the scene quickly and gave just enough information to do so. It's ...

Hey Reason! (Pre-warning, I don't usually review poetry.) In whole I like this. The language is beautiful and I like the concept behind it, but I do think there are ...

Hey Gryph! Just to note: I haven't read any of the previous chapters. First impressions; This is definately interesting, the title, plot and characters. It seems more like something that ...

Hey Cspr! I'm not sure if I've reviews your work before or just read it, but there is something I like about your style. It's an easy read, I think, ...

As promised, I'm here at last to review. Again your antagonist here is quite frightening. Especialy the way he expects only the right answer. It reminds me of something I ...

Hey Zanna! My apologies, I don't mean to bump old works. I glimpsed over part ten of this story and decided I want to read the whole thing :) I ...

Hey Sarah Hurray for the demolition of That Which Must Not be Named (that you mentioned in the spoiler.) This piece made me smile. I agree with the others, it ...

Hey Metal! What struck me most about this piece was that there are a lot of contradictions. Like the smell of some thing rotting, and of something sweet. A capturer ...

Greetings! Interesting piece of work. I like the amount of emotion and thought in it - you give a very intricate view of your characters perspective. At some points it ...