Swottielottie

Beautiful. This might just be my favourite poem. Please write more stanzas! I adore the rhythm and language! Keep writing! Charlotte

Oh!!!!! I love it! Wonderful rhythm, lovely choice of words and enchanting story! loved the ending! Charlotte

A little cliched but I like the concept. (Not that I know much about poems.) It is a good idea. So just add some description (show don't tell) and make ...

Thank you so so so so much! That was really helpful! Thanks Kitty 15 for being wonderful and fomatting it for me! Charlotte

Thanks! But i still have no ideea how to format it. i am terrible at paragraphs! if someone could show me it would be great! charlotte

Were you writing simply to make it seem as is the narrator was young or mad or not very educated? He/her tone was sort of like a child. V.good. But ...

That was hillarious! Just some of the stuff the dragon said was hard to read! And Spider pig rules! Charlotte

Thank you everyone especially Pushca for the very informative review. That will help me a lot. Thanks again! Charlotte

Very different way of describing parents. Its true that parents are supposed to be saviours and role models but they don't desire to be it. Brill vocab. Loved it. Charlotte

Rain is an over used topic but you made this unique. I love it and the imagery is very good. But change this bit: there're droplets on my roof. To ...

Hi kristina/ Max. I agree with the others. it has potential for a great poem but we need a little more information. But don't give it all away. Not that ...

Has anyone got any more ideas?

Thank you, that has been a lot of help. I think I will go with number two. Shadow twit, thanks so much for all the correcting you did! Charlotte

I love the first stanza and the last. Really powerful poem but maybe it needs more punctuation (?) Sorry I can't be more helpful. Charlotte

WOW! I love the last line. So.... brilliant. I loved it. I can't think of a single thing to improve it. Charlotte