Swires

Thanks torpid. Anyone else, I need some ideas for a better title for it as well. I am really getting ideas for this and may use it to start the ...

When I post I give reviews, general comments and a few suggestions to make the story better. Snoink gives a critique in which he analyses everything in order to make ...

Some writers prefer the pen though because it allows them a few more seconds to select the right words and descriptions before they right, CHris Paolini (Author of Eragon, Eldest) ...

Sorry, I didnt know you were a beginner. The best thing for starting out in my opinion is saying what you like to read. What you like to read will ...

Sorry about that I am getting confused with another story I am reading at the moment. Anyway good job and cant wait to see how it develops.

I wouldnt say it was cliched but maybe murder is a common thing these days. If developed and planned well with an interesting plot then I shall look forward to ...

Yes it seems awfully short for a chapter, could you post the whole thing, it gives us more to critique and read. Also it seems unoriginal(FF), is this supposed to ...

I must admit the story, well if thats what it is, is rather short. Usual short stories are int eh range of 500 to 2000 words. Try adding more description ...

I like it, all accept the last line, just didnt work for me. Sorry for being so briedf but yes, enjoyable read, be even better in song. Nice work.

I like the action but there could be so much more description to compliement the action. Sense appeal, what can the characters smell, taste, see , hear. How do they ...

Yeah It seemed a little unrealistic and some bits were confusing however I liked some of the action you wrote, with a little work it could be a much better ...

I like the story and the opening paragraphs description is absolutley fantastic. However I felt for some time it was "Mirianda did this then she did that" perhaps a little ...