Random avatar

Swiftie13Initiate

  • Short Story » Teen Fiction, General Re: My Savior

    THIS IS AMAZING!! I LOVE HOW YOU DESCRIBE EVERY THING THAT HAPPENED,ASHLEY IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER THAT YOU INVENTED!! THIS SENTENCE JUST CONFUSES ME: "And I know he knows. I ...

    Jul 31, 2013
  • Poetry » Realistic, Literature Re: ​My Window

    LOVING THIS!!! :) BUT THIS SENTENCE HAD DRAIN MY EXCITEMENT: "Because when I can’t understand, I tend freeze." I TEND FREEZE? WHAT'S THAT? I THINK YOU MEANT "I TEND TO ...

    Jul 31, 2013
  • Short Story » General, Narrative Re: Fly

    WELL THIS IS AMAZING!! BUT THIS SENTENCE I'M CONFUSED: "Dragonflies have short, thin wings with have an uneven center of gravity." WHAT'S WITH THE "thin wings with have" it should ...

    Jul 31, 2013
  • Short Story » Dramatic, Romantic Re: Smoke Filled Forest Eyes

    i love this!! how the smoke in her eyes and all!! :) I wanted, desperately, to see her eyes one last time. that sentence,i think don't need to have comma's ...

    Jul 31, 2013
  • Short Story » Dramatic, Horror Re: One Last Chance

    OMG!! I LOVE THIS THIS IS AMAZING!! BUT ALSO IT NEEDS SOME DESCRIPTIONS:LIKE WHAT'S HIS NAMES?HOW DID THE LADY LOOK?WHAT DOES THE HOUSE LOOK? AND I LOVE HOW YOU DESCRIBE ...

    Jul 31, 2013


Everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.
— David Foster Wallace