Sureal

Lo there dude. Told you I’d get around to critting something of yours … I’m only a quarter of a year late. ;) ___________________ Finishing off the last part of ...

Lo Niki. ^_^ This story is really broken by the fact that I have zero sympathy for the female narrator. She comes off as self centered, mean and deceitful. Her ...

Hello Mitch, welcome to YWS. ^_^ We have a policy ... rule ... thing ... here, in that you should review other's work before posting your own. This helps to ...

Hello BBB. :) I have to say, this is a definite improvement over Repunzal's Story. ^_^ That monstrous of a pit. This doesn't actually make any sense. 'Monstrous' is an ...

I like it. :) Although, I can't help thinking that stanza 4, line 1 finishes a word early. Couldn't you move 'love' up a line? (So that it reads, 'Maybe ...

I read this before you changed the first line, and had no idea what it was about. But since you've changed the opening line and made it clear what an ...

The main problem you have here is that your rhyme scheme is dictating what it is you're saying - it's 'forced', in other words. This shouldn't be the case. I ...

Alright there, Errant? ^_^ I’ve got a spare few minutes, so I’ll go over and give you my thoughts and opinions on this. First off: your title. At the moment, ...

Everytime I read it I find myself stumbling over the third line - I'm thinking maybe splitting it up into two lines may solve this problem? I love the final ...

There are a number of grammar problems in this, so you might want to re-read it through. I’ll just go over the factual errors in this: We are the only ...

OMG i cant beleiv u rote tis u weerdo tis idea was stoopid y did u rite tis. *** Okay, I haven't actually read Do Not Read This Story , ...

Hello, fothi. ^_^ This is a quick ‘thank you’ crit, for your review of Whispers in the Shadow. :) "Mother, I'm taking the carriage into Nepalia. I will be back ...

Alrighty, Amelia. ^_^ Just a quick ‘thank you’ crit for your review of Whispers of the Fallen, Chap One, part 1. My main criticism with this would have to be ...

Lo, Phorcys. A young, cloaked dude knelt in a small rowing boat There’s a missing word here. I’ve bolded in an example (what? dudes sounds cool…). The wind rose, almost ...

When, paragraphing, remember to put a line between ALL paragraphs. You seem to have only put a blank line between some paragraphs, resulting in some rather random clumps. This is ...