Supermeggs12

If I must say, make sure you put the 18+ warning in the description. It is funny, though. I would say to work on your dialogue punctuation, but Hannah already ...

This is a very unique intro for a prologue, I'm impressed. There were very few grammatical errors, which I am also impressed about. Some of the wordings were a bit ...

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Wow. Personally, after reading, I think this was written from a personal experience. It has a good message in it, is it about a teen's car crash? Some parts about ...

Just to it point., there are a bit too many sentence fragments in the beginning, which is a basic editing fix. I'm going to have to say that I agree ...

In the beginning, I felt you used the word "peaceful" a bit too much. You could have said quiet or serene instead. You could have gone more in to depth ...

Awwww, that was sweet! Your characters are so incredibly lively. However, I would suggest that you make sure you aren't overstating things. Although I did have some curiousity as to ...

Your writing isn't one dimensional at all. I find it very easy to go to make my own mental picture of your writing. But you want to make sure it ...

This was fairly interesting. I liked the descriptions of him in the beginning. But if I might add, I agree that you have to make sure this doesn't sound like ...

Well, I would say that some sentences are run-ons which makes your writing sound choppy, and all. However, it is a unique idea, and it was pretty good. Uh darn ...

I enjoyed it. It has that simple unique flow that other short stories lack. However, I would suggest you make sure the commas are present in the right places. It ...