Squall

Hey there dragnet. I'll be your reviewer for today. I think you did a fairly decent job in describing the battle between your MC and the minotaur. On the whole ...

Hey there Karen. Welcome to YWS. I'm not going to be too detailed here as I think you know what you're doing. :D I do admit though that this piece ...

Hey there PenNPaper. I watched in amazement as he demonstrated a few spells. A fireball spell, a whirlwind spell, and a water spell. Your intro would of been more hooking ...

Hey there Elentari. Cela sat straight up in bed. Her heart was racing. Her red hair sat lightly on her shoulders. Her green eyes flew around her room. She was ...

Hey there wonderingkate. Lots have been said about this so I'm going to just add my 5 cents here. What you have at the moment is pretty vanilla. Even though ...

Hey there Crzygrl100. First off, I like to say that I quite like your prologue. It does a good job in suggesting that the MC and her father hold some ...

Hey there Lethero, you should know me by now since you've seen me so much in chat. Like everyone else in the Pack, at seventeen I got to choose a ...

Hey there joshuapaul, I'm your long lost brother: D Na kidding lol but I'm also from New Zealand. Go kiwis! She ran out looking behind her. It was all so ...

Hey there Rosey Unicorn. It's been a while. My hand a circle around his wrist, but not grasping it. Maybe try cleaning this bit up a bit so that it ...

Hey there TNG100. First off, how can the crowd not hear the main character shouting out at the top of his lungs? Surely it would of had caught some sort ...

Hey there Dr. Tick Tock. The overall impression that I got of this chapter was that it seemed like filler. Nothing was really happening and I struggled to actually finish ...

Hey there Eddykins. Just dropping by. So I think you have a potential plot here. The biggest problem that I have with this comes down to the clarity of the ...

Hey there PinkShearwater. Alright, I'll start off by talking about your first few paragraphs. They were kind of a chore to read because firstly, it does little to characterize your ...

Hey there. The first thing that I noticed is that there are some gaps in the logic of this piece. For example, why would the King send his daughter away ...

Hey there. Overall impressions: The writing itself is rather nice. You have some skill when it comes to writing descriptions. It was one of the reasons why I kept reading ...