Squall

Hello Inkboy. I heard nothing at first but as I recovered from a vulnerable sleep, my ears tuned in on the footsteps that countered sharply with the cold cobblestones. Nix ...

Hey JC. Anita put her work down and stood up when we entered the room, warming up the room with one of the most genuine smiles a person could have. ...

Hello Penguin. As I promised. His awakening seemed to have a ripple effect, for he soon heard footsteps coming into the room. Wah? Ripple effect? Can you please not try ...

Hey Suz :D She loved how the cool October wind beat against her clothes and rode the waves of her long black hair. I think you can be more specific ...

Hello Lindsey, I did say I was going to check this out. He wasted so much time at work and neglected his family. But why? But he is effectively providing ...

Hey there dark_angel, and welcome to YWS. I'm going to be reviewing only the first chapter of this. As Rising looked out at the streets in front of him, he ...

Hey Adam. The tower was busier than ever, the lifts, covered in people, made it difficult for Colin to get around. Covered doesn't seem to be the right word here. ...

Hey there Sparrow, and welcome to YWS. The group up ahead stopped all of a sudden. Dead end. What dead end? The second sentence in this quotation has no subject ...

Hey there VampireBloodrace. Iris and Koda stood behind me, both their expressions shocked like mine. This can be simplified. "Iris and Koda stood behind me, shocked as well." Aton faked ...

Hello *singerofthenight* "arrives in the form of a thunder cloud." It's funny how your life can change in a moment. One moment, you could be laughing with your best friend ...

Hello FinalFreedom. A rancid smell filled my lungs; a mixture of body odor and human feces. Cringing, I tried to bring my hand up to pinch my nose. If the ...

Hello Chey. The wind caught in the park trees. I do not like this sentence for a number of reasons. Firstly, your preposition of "in" doesn't fit. Wind can't enter ...

Hey there Heather, I am back :D The shopping bags slicing and dicing my fingers are evidence of that. A little nit-pick, but how is the narrator carrying those bags? ...

Hello again KJ. As I promised. The sun was about to rise, and I obviously couldn’t leave in broad daylight. There was nothing to do but head back to the ...

Greetings Ashleylee. Darkness crept in from either side of her. She could feel it; it’s fingers snagging on her cloak and sending icy waves down her spine. This is cliche. ...