SpencerNolanRivers

This is very well written, so you don't have too many errors or mistakes. She looked on her long , loose white blouse that reached up to her hips. …even ...

. W e just never bothered to notice it until tonight. Replace the comma with a period and have that be a sentence itself. “Cake hasn’t changed . I t’s ...

This is a very nicely written story, though, some parts were contradicting and a bit unbelievable: She was tall, six feet actually, but she was very curvy. You mentioned earlier ...

...bore into my dull dark brown, almost black , eyes. She was utter perfection , everything about her was just so perfect . Redundency. She wore no makeup . S ...

A gust of wind blew her sweet scent to the vampire goading him to cock his head so to catch it better. No joke, my first initial thought after reading ...

Honestly, after only a few paragraphs of reading this, I became disinterested in the story. It's very typical, cliche', and unorginal for a romantic story. Here are some things I ...

“Go, I will follow.” I ran out off the door, and into the black night. Adding these would make the sentence structure better. The streets were littered with corpses ; ...

You have loads of grammar, writing, and punctual errors, and since I don't want to get Carpal Tunnel from editing every single last one of them, I will just cover ...

but nonetheless it brought lightness to my heart to hear a new tune, It had been at least two months since I’d sung a tune of any sort, M y ...

1. The idiot , though he was her enemy while the whole class new they had a crush on each other. 2. And then came that new girl in our ...

I couldn't bring myself to read all of it, because, honestly, I didn't see it going anywhere. You should probably correct that. I was just too tired , like any ...

There were a lot of grammatical and writing errors, and some were repetitive, so I didn't bother fixing all of them. So later that night she told me : Never ...

I see that you do not have many posts here, giving me the conclusion that you are pretty new here. I would just like you to know that this place ...

...for all the world it looked like she was sleeping while standing up I think this word should be added. But she wasn’t sleeping , she wasn’t even resting: Comma ...

I've only read about half-way through, but here's my critque of what I read: I’m a fourteen -year -old girl who just moved from Florida to North Dakota. No need ...