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Re: The Vampire
I liked the idea behind this, it was interesting. The first two complete phrases ended with the same word. You might want to find another word to use instead. H ...
Jun 27, 2008 -
Re: To my stepmother from hell
I hate the way i cringe when some one speaks your name i hate the way you drive me postivily insane When people speak highly of you makes me want ...
Jun 17, 2008 -
Re: Life in a nutshell
I really liked the idea, and the emotion behind this. It was filled with metaphors and symbolism, that with a little work could help the reader find a mental picture. ...
Jun 17, 2008 -
Re: The Mauling of Humanity.
I absolutely love this. You used very descriptive and emotive words to describe the situation humanity is in. My only concern is a line in the 4th stanza. And the ...
Jun 17, 2008 -
Re: This is it.
Oh, my god. This is brilliant. Others already mentioned little word changes and such, but someone said that it was too short. On the contrary, I think it cuts through ...
Jun 17, 2008 -
Re: You Think You Know Me
Absolutely amazing. I'm jealous of your ability to rhyme! :) On another note, I find you repeat 'understand' a lot, it takes away from the poem. I wasn't looking at ...
Jun 17, 2008 -
Re: Stronger
I really like this poem, and the message it sends. The abusive man/woman being weak, and the victim becoming stronger. What exactly is the pyramid you refer to? Perhaps you ...
Jun 17, 2008 -
Re: The Road to Home
First off, this is amazing! The first line reminded me of Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Greenday, but I forgot that once I read the rest. It seems really well ...
Jun 17, 2008 -
Re: Welcoming Freedom Chapter 5
I love this! Also, I'm happy someone turned Bella into a vampire! The first few paragraphs are very short, and to the point. Could you possibly expand on the ideas, ...
Jun 17, 2008 -
Re: On my Own
I really like the theme/idea, but there are a few major issues. I am not afraid to be alone. I actually like it because it's peaceful. But no one understands ...
Jun 16, 2008 -
Re: Dusk
Oh my, this is not blah. Not in the slightest. I can see why it was published, it's amazing. I like the repetition of "light meets the dark"... This a ...
Jun 16, 2008 -
Re: Martha, I'm Coming
This is a beautiful poem with a really sweet sentiment, but I have to agree with the others. The rhyming seems off, perhaps the same idea written in prose or ...
Jun 15, 2008
