The Vampire
He accidentally cut his hand,
it bled.
Oozing from his hand,
dripping on the floor.
I watched it fall,
every drop
sounding different
from the last.
I wanted it,
I wanted to taste his
sweet succulent
Blood. I put his hand
to my lips and
Sucked and drank.
Greedily, hungrily.
He looked at me,
surprised, disgusted
at my actions. Stopping
I pulled him close,
kissed his beautiful lips,
then bit his neck
taking every last drop. Finally
satisfied I left him there
dry, empty
Dead.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I liked the idea behind this, it was interesting.
The first two complete phrases ended with the same word. You might want to find another word to use instead.
The capitals aren't consistant throughout the poem, some lines will start with a capital and some won't. The structure is interesting, and as I said I liked this poem but it would look more professional if you started every with a capital, or you started every line (not the beginning of a sentence) with lowercase.
the kiss was more lust than anything.
That was really creepy!
It was so creepy that it was really good! 
Maybe you could add why you kissed the person though. Was it love or a distraction?
hey its great!
i uh.... i am not a teacher and cant really tell about your mistakes because i didn't find any i thought like i was watching a video of rock music! it was really great i like it!
It is a mixture of a little seduction and mischief with sprinkled horror!
Its a great composition!
Keep up with your imagination!