SofiaDesu

rememberme , thank you. You are right. I wrote it like a song. I even wrote a little tune on the text. kidashka , there will be no rhyme.

I find it unique because it's not like you're trying to copy anyone else's style. It is so because I read not so much poetry in English. hah) anyway, thank ...

Unique? Why?

PaperCrane , thank you very much. Also, it is not true about the size of the writing - these people need reading glasses. Well, I finally found the like-minded person.

1. These two lines, when read imply that you fall asleep and listen to their scrap. How is that possible? I get the idea, but you'll need to rephrase it. ...

No, I don't want. I like it.

I just noticed that you are 13. Then it is very, very good for your age. I would say, it is exellent. I would never say that it was written ...

I was a bit wary of changing your writing style so some bits were kept as they were. I can't even imagine, how does my style of writing in English ...

Thank you very much

I'm sorry to be so ruthless, but I know that you've asked for help with your English so I went full grammar-nazi mode ... Hope that it helps! If you ...