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Re: Our Just Desserts
This is a pretty poem. There are some rhymes in here, (make/derogate, demise/lies) and I was wondering whether they were intentional or not. But pretty poem. And nice imagery.
Mar 9, 2006 -
Re: On Matters of Spaghetti
HA! I changed one sentence which makes this story that much better! ... I'm so lame.
Mar 5, 2006 -
Re: Bus Stops and Pocket Watches (formerly Bernard)
LOL! It's just an idea. She can tweak his identity however she feels fit. ;) I just like soppy teenager stories, so...
Feb 28, 2006 -
Re: Bus Stops and Pocket Watches (formerly Bernard)
Haha, you do that Crysi. Another idea: right now, you have it in third person. It appears to us that the main character is the janitor, but at the moment, ...
Feb 28, 2006 -
Re: Writers Challenge: Hot Dog
Or hot-doggin' craziness... Wait, that sounds weird. YAY! My bloggie was mentioned! This is one of your most random stories/poems/whatevers yet. You should feel immensely proud of yourself.
Feb 27, 2006 -
Re: I think my brain just died...
Hehe! This only means one thing... I might become a poet yet! :D
Feb 24, 2006 -
Re: Riddle
Hahah! That was one of my first thoughts! ... but my sister was using the computer at the time soOo...
Feb 20, 2006 -
Re: The Boatman [Chapter 1]
This part is begging to be a prologue: The bay was only visible through a fracture of light that escaped through the billowing purple clouds, its black waters clasped the ...
Feb 18, 2006 -
Re: The Boatman [Chapter 1]
I like the title. It's original and kind of fun. Just delete the (Working Title) part after it. The story also looks rather original. ...would I scare you if I ...
Feb 17, 2006 -
Re: Shadow (1, 2 and 3)
anyway now thanks to you i will have to wait until the end of the year for BOTH of his stories, i was only here to read his stories, so ...
Feb 17, 2006 -
Re: Shadow (1, 2 and 3)
Read this. And for goodness's sake... don't think you're alone. I've written worse things than this. By asking for a critique, especially from smaur and I, you're asking to have ...
Feb 17, 2006 -
Re: Shadow (1, 2 and 3)
hehe. I was waiting for this. In fact it was the main reason I moved the story to this Forum, because I know you tend to read more story's here ...
Feb 16, 2006 -
Re: Writers Challenge: 2/14 St. Valentine (Sadistic)
Wow... this is confusing. It's ecstasy, by the way. Weird word, eh? Don't put quotation marks around Eve. And this is really weird stuff...
Feb 16, 2006 -
Re: Straight A's and Smudged Mascara
Well, Emily is in an odd situation. Her parents *do* love her and everything, so she isn't exactly living in fear all her life. She is a bit of a ...
Feb 16, 2006 -
Re: Why are kids scared of the dark?
Apparently, it's a thesis statement...
Feb 15, 2006