Snoink

First of all, never EVER post a poll that says, "Is this good?" with only two options. If you do, there's only going to be two thoughts that go through ...

I did like this, mostly because I'm a sucker for metered poetry. The abaab format was a little strange to get into, but it could be done. However, there were ...

Oh, why oh why did you ask me to critique poetry! First of all, a warning. I suck at poetry, and any comments, suggestions, or tips can be thrown away ...

Pretty cool. Interesting sketch of what happened during a lightning storm (don't you just love them?). It's not really a story, mind you, but it doesn't need to be a ...

First of all, this isn't really a story, which I suppose is the main disappointment in this whole thing. Sometimes I love weird, scary stories, but only if the story ...

:P Poetry to story is quite an easy switch, actually, if you have any sense of writing. In fact, sometimes the best fictional writers are poets, if only because their ...

I'm just going to comment as I go along, and then I'll tell you what I think of it at the end, okay? ^_^ Most of the time, I'll just ...

Not only were you in the past tense last chapter, but you switch tenses in this! Sometimes there are reasons why you can change tenses. For example, if I have ...

Eh... I have to agree with Nate on this one. When you use metaphors, you usually try to use something that signifies right-away to the reader, "Oh, so that's what ...

:P Okay, looked at it with my younger sister! Our comments? The words "pea brained" should be "pea-brained." Remember that you are describing someone as this adjective, therefore it is ...

This, Samwise, was not your best writing. Your word choice was much too dramatic and overblown. Really, were her footsteps echoing to oblivion? Yeah... right. It's like your trying to ...

Oops, I forgot to comment on this. I too love the second stanza. What doesn't seem to fit is the first two lines. Probably because the second person is used ...

I don't know... it seems like your trying to force in all these big sounding words when some smaller ones would do just fine. Especially thE word "recipient." I don't ...

Well... it's not much to comment on, but there were several spelling errors. My finger was really hurting the other day, so I can understand completely if you typed too ...

The first part is awesome! But then the last couple of lines seem to lose the attractiveness of the former lines. Although you are losing momentum... Hmmm... :?