Snoink

Didn't I say I shall be frank? ;) Okay. The beginning sucks as it is. I know you want us to feel emotional about Michael and everything, but it's so ...

First of all, "ment" should be "meant." Just a little spelling thing, that's all. ;) This seems like you're trying to hard for the rhyme and not enough for the ...

What a creative story! I mean, aliens and wedding cakes? Awesome! The title is very catchy too and the mere subject was so original that it kept me reading throughout. ...

Just edit it (you can see the little button at the top right of your post) and put spaces in it manually. It's a little tricky, but it'll help your ...

I would prefer it not to start at the lovely place. As important as the place may be, as an introduction, it just isn't catchy enough. Instead, start with the ...

I don't know... I sort of think that the pig head stands for mother nature. For one, this is the head pig mama of the island (hahah, that sounds wrong) ...

No. Those are NOT passive sentences. Those are what we call past imperfect sentences, and they are good. Yes. Good. If you use them right. What they do is indicate ...

Hm... I've been thinking about this poem today, and I'm still trying to digest it. I'll come up with something tomorrow, but know that I'm not abandoning you, Elizabeth! :D

Haha... um... yeah. Okay, maybe I've been reading too many nonfiction books lately, but OMG. And I know this is a piece for a competition written a long time ago, ...

Hmmm... One of the weird thing about this poem is the creative spelling. Sometimes, as in a nonsense poem, this works, but other times this doesn't. I'm not quite sure ...

Hehehe, this was a fun read! Mind you, I would have been completely confused if I hadn't read the first paragraph that includes your explanation, but it was still fun! ...

Hehe, this should really be put in the lyrics section! I can always move it for you, if you want. And if you don't... well, it's made a nice home ...

OMG. Don't do those types of polls, lol! It shouldn't matter whether I want to continue on -- instead, it should matter whether YOU want to continue on. Be self-serving, ...

Hmmm... First of all, I must admit, I'm not really a fan of the line breaks. I mean, if it's a story poem, then why even bother with the line ...

Hmmm... I think this poem might be better as a narrative poem. That is, you're describing a story instead of feelings. :) At the moment, it's still a little abstract, ...