Snoink

Hi colorful! Welcome to YWS! :D So, basically, you know how to write vivid images, which is a great! Now, what you want to try to make the vivid images ...

Haha, yes! I second the very good for the first poem bit. :) One thing I love to see in poetry is lots of metaphors and stuff... it's kind of ...

Hi Vampy! :) The main thing that I wondered about in this poem was about the narrator. At first, I figured that the narrator could be God, but since it ...

Awww, so sweet! A couple of things... You say the boyfriend and the girlfriend way too much, I think. I would rather use their real names. :P Still... one thing ...

First, gimmicky writing doesn't mean it's good writing. In fact, most of the time, it's bad writing. In this case, it's bad writing. Get rid of the bad grammar in ...

Hey Nutty! Two things! First of all, I want to see more action when she spills hot coffee all over herself. Why? Because that sort of stuff totally wakes you ...

Haha, this was pretty cute! I would have it more centered on the girl... after all, this is her dream, so why would she dream about someone watching her? I ...

Hey Commas! It's really late, so I should probably go to bed, but I figured I would comment on your poem first! To start, stylistically, it's really stop-and-go. You flit ...

Okay, this is just going to be a quick review, but here we go! The main thing I thought was a little weird was that you kept saying you would ...

Ohmigosh! This poem made me squeamish, lol. Needles, in general, suck. Like... oh gosh. I have to spend half my time holding my eyes when watching House. It's really pathetic. ...

Okay, so generally I don't like to comment on style, however... you could probably combine some sentences and make this piece a lot more smoother and easier to read. Right ...

First! He's holding a rock that transforms into a gun? What?! Doesn't make sense! Second, it seemed rather strange. You have this really intense conflict where there is creepy guy ...

So... um... I'm confused. From what I've heard in college, some people don't like cigarettes at all, but they do like weed. So... why exactly would the friend want to ...

Hey Kate! Nice to finally see your story! :D Okay! So the beginning of this story reminds me of my story. There are a couple of reasons why: 1) The ...

Hello and welcome to YWS! :D First of all, your use of "pelts" kind of threw me off a little, simply because pelts are from skinned animals. So... um... are ...