Siam

I know this isn't much of a critique but I love this poem. I'm just goig to repeat what everyone said. The rythm is catchy and it's a very illistrative ...

I did agree with Snoink. It was a bit confusing but I tried to clean it up. Hopefully it's better. :wink:

Much better, Kinsley. I really liked it. But why does Sarabeth being pregnant make Adam mad? And jeez, a sixth child??!!

HAHA! That was funny. Despite the overuse of fairytales, I loved the originality in it. I'm begining to like your work, Kinsley. Keep writing! Yours truly, Siam

I didn't get much from it. I coudn't connect with Sarabeth. try putting more of her emotions in it. Did she die, or what?