Shasta

That's a very interesting poem. It could be interpreted multiple ways, not one of them without interest. Except for those who would see it as it is. For instance, a ...

I think removing the rhyming made the poem sound more consistent and together. You could have left it and really altered a few lines, but I wasn't sure you would ...

That was good. I'm not sure what the rhyming was, though. It was kind of inconsistant and sparce. Personally, I think you would do just as well to remove the ...

I thought this was an excellent piece! The concept, the pattern, the word choice, I thought it all was well done. There was one mistake I noticed. You said "Were ...

I agree with everyone else. The rhyming patterned worked pretty well throughout most of the poem. Sometimes it's fine to have corresponding rhyming lines off by a syllable and it ...

I think this is very good. The style is kind of short and repetative, but I think that's fine. Still, you probably won't be able to stick with this sort ...

I agree that you should introduce the characters a little more. It's okay to do it subtly, actual it's much better to introduce them slowly then all at once. But ...

Um, okay, could I just give you a few suggestions on this poem? On the rhyming? To be completely honest I didn't think the rhyming was all that good. I ...

I think this is a great start! And I don't mind all the "feels" you put in there. It's just a style that shouldn't be used to many times in ...

I really liked the style of this poem. I think the way you decided to pu this together was, all in all, very good. I'm not sure about the rhyming ...