Shady

Hey Dude! *note I'm glaring at you for making me discover this on my own, and not on my WRFF thread or a PM* Alright, I'm done pouting; so I ...

Hey XX! I usually start with my complaints, and then move onto the praises, so bear with me... You use 'instinctively' like three times in the beginning of your story, ...

Hey Cm! I tend to start with nitpicking and then move to the good parts of the story, so bear with me. "Thud The man fell, slowly, his body jolting ...

Dear Soccer, I think you have an interesting storyline, though you didn't include very much detail. You didn't mention why or how the sidewalk turned purple, or what happened after ...

Hey Teren! I see you're new here, so welcome! I know that this site is a bit tricky to navigate to begin with, so feel free to PM me if ...

Hey Dude! I'll cut straight to the chase... "I . . . I’ve essentially memorized it."~ I'm not sure 'essentially' is the best word to use here. I think that ...

Hey eyeofthestorm! This is a really good poem! I like how you were able to describe how you (or whoever 'I' was in the poem) felt betrayed and hurt by ...

Hey Emmylou! I know you didn't ask for a review, but I wanted to tell you that you wrote a good poem. I definitely get the feeling you described here ...

Hey Guinea! I do tend to be more like Dude with my reviews, so bear with me. "in the twelth year of the reign of the"~ typo 'twelfth'. "Yes, Chainoo ...

Hey Dude! "Actoris Vortigern, Servant, knight, and friend to his majesty Wymark VI of Alisator. 2795 N.D."~ Nothing wrong here, I just have a question. '2795 N.D.' what time period ...

Hey Dude! "undisturbed by the girl’s light scream when she awakened."~ nothing majorly wrong here, but you might consider changing 'light' to 'soft' or something. Light just doesn't seem to ...

Hey Dude! As you no doubt know by now I, unlike Shearwater, do tend to be nit picky, though you made it really hard with this piece. Great job! :D ...

Hey Dude! Thanks for letting me review for you! "reigns and incited the horses."~ there's no 'g' in 'reins', as you used it here. A king 'reigns', a horse has ...

Hey Ikerot! Sorry it took me so long to get to this, I got sick. :( "I looked at him in pity, then it would countered back at me."~ 'would ...

I LOVED this story SO much! Your characters and plot were amazing, and your spelling and grammar made this a really enjoyable story!!