Shadow_doubt

I agree with the other two- you have Jaques down to a T within a page- that's often very difficult to do. I already feel like I know the tone ...

Amen to what Fand said plus my own little peace: It shown so very bright. Shouldn't 'shown' be shone? You're last stanza seemed a little out of rhythm, but I ...

I love this poem- the metaphor you've created is so perfect. It really helps the imagery along. I only have one revision: I was there towards summer, when I began ...

It's very good. it kept me hooked, so your suspense held out which is excellent. My problem was that you would occasionally repeat your description- which i don't like. For ...

I have seen stronger imagery in other poems, but it's still very very good. The contradiction of what we see and what the character sees really shows through, and for ...

I think it's a good poem. It seems like the beginning is a clam tone with a quiet plea and at the end is more of a desperate instruction- and ...