Josh
I try not to fall for you.
But like a leaf dangling from a tree in autumn,
I can not help but do the inevitable.
Down, down, down I fall,
Hoping you’ll catch me as I travel down the route I don’t want to go.
But as I begin to trek down it,
You are looking the other way.
You don’t care for a simple, slowly crumpling leaf.
Instead you admire the flowers, although they shall only be there for one season,
Whereas I have always been and will always be there.
I was there in spring, when I was too shy and subtle to yet be noticed, a simple bud.
I was there towards summer, when I began to flourish, showing off for your sake.
I was there in summer, when I began to fade, all hopes of your love faltering.
I am here now as I have finally surrendered to what is bound to be.
And I will be here still in winter, as I slowly die with every other plant around me.
But the cycle will begin again.
In early spring, a bud will form.
Yet again hoping to be noticed.
But blind to you, or whoever is around then,
As it is, I am, blind to everyone that is entranced by the flowers.
And yet again a leaf will fall.
Never to be caught,
And yet again creates a fresh wave of heartache.
no, i don't like a guy named josh. it's just the title of the poem. =]
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Well ok, I'm just gonna share my thoughts because I found this.
I agree with everyone. I really loved this. It's really nice how you compare the character to a leaf. And the seasons that describe how the girl acts.
"As it is, I am, blind to everyone that is entranced by the flowers."
I really love that line. It's great.
Anyways, Great Job!
Lots O' Luv,
Lindsay
I love this poem- the metaphor you've created is so perfect. It really helps the imagery along. I only have one revision:
I'm just picky about repetition unless it's very much inteded (i.e. a refrain). There's nothing wrong with it- I just think perhaps it would be better going through seperate months or perhaps saying "I was there as the spring died..." or something like that, so that you don't have to look twice to understand what the poem says.
but other than that i really loved this poem- I enjoyed it and, as I said, the imagery was amazing. Kepp it up
wow i really loved this poem...it's not pish posh at all! it just flowed so nicely and your feelings really came across...and the form and everything...wow very nicely done
I like how you go through the seasons in this poem and I agree that the comparisson of humans to plants is unique and thought provoking. I can really relate to the poor little leaf. Wow, I never thought I'd ever type something like that... Well done and keep up the good work.
WOW! I really liked it! Good description and totally true! WOW! I can't stop saying wow! lol
great job and keep it up.
I loved the part where you described the leaf falling that was great. Good job!
really? you think it's good?
i wrote it back in october and i JUST found it.
i thought it was pish posh.
XD
thanks!
Wow...this was REALLY good! Oh my gosh, this poem is amazing! The unique comparison of people to plants is very nicely done. This is a really good poem!