SeraphTree

Hm. There's not very many details, and we don't know where these people are. I mean, it's obviouls they're at school, but are the in class? Did school just end? ...

Ayra...!!! I want you to be an author...!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D I'm glad you feel better :D:D:D:D

OO" Wow. You post long chapters ^^". No problem though. ^-^V Letting out a small groan of pain, Mark’s eyelids opened slightly, revealing a small crack of blue and white, ...

Hi Fangala :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D..... :D Well, this was very interesting. I think it was a little too rushed, and we need more thought bubbles from your main character. :D:D:D:D That'

Hello Little Angel Fire. I have a few things to point out: I watched as she left and groaned loudly when the door shut behind her. I knew very well ...

Again, this is moving way to fast. :( It's really hard to feel for any of the characters. :( No I mean what planet is this, am I still at ...

OKAY............. sorry, my computer keeps messing up. Starting to get annoyed. :( First, this is WAY too long. Second, Dora and Caden keep switching characters on us. Third..... why does ...

Hi ^-^V...... :D:D:D:D:D:D:D It was a beautiful day at the Kingdom of Flames. Everyone on the planet was invited to a party that celebrated the birth of Princess Pyra. " ...

Break this up into two posts, because the length is very daunting :) :D:D:D:D:D

You need to break up your paragraphs and put spaces between them. At the moment it looks like a chunk of solid words, and people go :thud: when they see ...

Hi ^o^V The town was intensely quiet; the only sounds were the steady hum of traffic in the distance and the occasional footsteps on the pavement. All was so still ...

Hello Pawprint :D:D:D:D:D: I noticed a couple of things (trying to keep it short and sweet here) "Your Highness, the princess is missing!" Nurse Mira breathed after her run to ...

Alright. First, this stereotype of Clarke is so common, it simply doesn't work anymore. I suggest you use something more rational than spilling grape juice, such as "Oh, the history ...

First off, you keep switching the point of view too much. It's hard to tell which is the main character. The afternoon sky soon became dark. The ominous cloud was ...

.... .......... Really, REALLY creepy. I had a dream similar to this. *Shudder* HAHAHA Now you've inspired me to write about my dream. Unfortunately, the dreams I remember don't make ...