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Sapphirejay

  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Across The Ocean

    Haven't done this in a while, so bare with me :[ Overall, I love it. It has just enough emotion to be satisfactory, and you almost want to say "No! ...

    Jul 14, 2011
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: The World is a Circus

    Fun poem! The rhyming is good but the pattern is this and that. The first two stanzas are the same pattern, then you abandon it in the rest. Then in ...

    Jul 14, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Grave New World.

    There are purple blossoms, like great bunches of grapes Cool image! The last line doesn't really make sense to me Oh grave new world, that has such things in it. ...

    Jul 14, 2009
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: A common thing really

    Well written! If you knew you were the victim of my poetry, Would you really start to look at me? See past the past, through the threats, Would you let ...

    Jul 13, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Mysterious land - chapter 1

    This is a very nice first chapter! There is a few things I noticed: The waterfall ahead of me is splashing water on the rocks surrounding it; but the rocks ...

    Jul 13, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: life and mistakes.........

    This is unique poem, I like it. But there is some things you should consider. 1) the poem goes of in strange places. For example: i have been in the ...

    Jul 13, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Pigs from space

    Pigs from space travelled to earth in a rocket. Bringing with them our pork filled doom. A good start on the poem, but I would use a spell checker here. ...

    Jul 13, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Two by Two

    This is a nice poem, but it needs more describing, because there is too much narration and not enough showing, like said before... What I also noticed is They heard ...

    Jul 12, 2009
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Sisters

    The rhyming was great, the beat was good. Very well done! What I would change though is the first line, Sisters screech and bicker and scream, and pull out each ...

    Jul 12, 2009


Excuse me I have never *lied* about a character I just don't tell the truth
— AceassinOfTheMoon