Sam

All right! I most definitely owe you for reading my story, so here are my long winded suggestions. :wink: ' log cabin.'- No matter how accurate this description might be, ...

YES! This is very, very excellent. I'll just jot down stuff as I read... -'I'm hoping the breeze in my brown hair doesn't make it hard to comb tonight before ...

All right! So, after carefully considering: THE GOOD NEWS: This story held my attention to the very end. Good job. THE BAD NEWS: I know from experience that the whole ...

Versailles! YAY! I shall critique as I read, so sorry for any rambling thoughts, etcetera. 'My face remained unwashed; my thick, golden-auburn hair was lathe with the dirt and sweat ...

Ah, yes, you lost me- not from boredom, but because your dialogue needs some work. SOME BASIC TIPS: 1. Your characters don't need to say 'eh' constantly. It's, eh, kind ...

The suspense is good, but next time, post a bit more. :wink: Besides being very vague, you don't start off very well. The fact that 'The dark sky was filled ...

I quite liked the first version- though I do hope some explanation comes of the next chapter, so we won't be crying 'Incest!' :wink: Anyway...the only reason I didn't enjoy ...

I'm going to critique as I please excuse little random trains of thought on individual lines. ' I had just spoken to on the phone was John Punnett, despite the ...

This piece... AS WRITING: Very, very excellent. AS A SHORT STORY: Horrible. WHY? At the end of the story, we're not quite sure who this girl is, where she is, ...

It would also be best if this were a part of a larger story, instead of this segment all by itself- at this point, we don't really know who these ...

Ah, Jack. That's pretty much sums it up...pain and passion amidst the gritty backdrop of early 19th century Britannia? One word- yum. I'd mainly like to commend you on how ...

Okay, Hekate and Pandora (irony? hehehe) are both very right in the fact that it's good. This is, indeeed- but it's got some major blank spots that need to be ...

YAY MATTIE! Very, very excellent, I've got to say...hooked? Definitely. How else could I read through four posts in a sitting? Mmm, well, the characters of Renee and Shannon need ...

Oooh! You started out fairly weak, but once you got past the fifth paragraph or so, it was truly a great read. Wholly excellent, in fact. The story just sort ...

I thought you meant 'Marc in Cleopatra's lover, but we won't go there. :P Ah, Misty, I shall critique when you get on MSN, since I owe you. Big time.