Salem

You have a few problems with grammer, specifically with capitalizing the first word inside of a qoutation. I felt my dad pat me on the shoulder, “ready, honey?” It should ...

I like your subject matter. Your story is an original idea and I really appreciate that! However, you do have a few small problems with grammer: just asked politely if ...

You make a lot of the same grammer mistakes over and over again, so I'm just going to say that all my previous pointers on your punctuation still apply. As ...

There;s one punctuation mistake that's all over this chapter: "A nineteen eighty-eight Ford ranger to be exact." added a deep voice blandly. If you're ending a spoken line with something ...

You're chapters are very short. I think, just as a suggestion, maybe the first chapter involving Emily and Jake should be the prologue and the first chapter should open with ...

Good start. You have some issues with grammer in this chapter. One thing you do a few times is starting dialogue on the same line as other descriptions, another character's ...