Rydia

Hello again! I think those are some excellent changes! I wouldn't have a comma at the end of 'surface' though and I think 'sense' should be since? But other than ...

Okay, this is definitely not appropriate for a young writer's site. The link isn't even to a book and I suggest that someone who has the power to do so ...

Wow, thanks so much Jasmine =) And yes, I'm very attached to the name Amelia but this is the first story I used it in and she's rather a different ...

Jasmine - You're right as always but I'm not sure if it's worth another re-write. It was so long ago and I'm rather detached from it now. Maybe just for ...

Did someone mention Cat? Sounds cool!

Yeah, I did think the 'me' might be a bit of phonetics to show her accent but, one word isn't enough for an accent. It's better to change more of ...

Lol. That was just how long he was my favourite author Kingdom, not what ages his books interest. I still read them now, I just have other favourites. And I ...

Scribe - Thanks for the help! You're right about the second part and I've already started extending and cutting but it's going to be a few more days before I ...

I'm glad you liked it Jasmine since it's practically yours. And gosh do I feel guilty. Somehow you find time to read nearly everything I've written and I still haven't ...

jynxy - Thanks very much, I'm so glad you liked it! Scribe - Thank you! You're right, the grammar needs tidying up in places and some of the imagery could ...

She's referring to this - The mother shook her head. She told her kitten something, and it backed away. - and I was a touch confused at first but then ...

Oh yes and just an extra little note - I think sokool is right. I love how you've done most of your description but that little aside near the beginning ...

Hmmm. Well I love 'Of Mice and Men' and I've not read this one but it sounds interesting so perhaps I'll invest in a copy.

Thanks Gadi! I'm working on a longer version at the moment actually so that I can bring more of the plot into it and don't have to hold back on ...

Thank you so much! You're right, the dialogue punctuation is atrocious as is the characterization, the view points etcetra. I am very fond of the plot however. Especially of what ...