Rydia

Great and best of luck with the revisions! :)

No problem and yep, having Eremia complain or ask to get off would definitely help because she does seem to be quite calm about riding through the battle zone at ...

On point 3. I'm aware that die is the singular, which is why I suggested it - you missed the word 'die' out of the sentence. I usually use red ...

No problem :)

I like Reh-pharaoh too :)

I like Reh-pharaoh too :)

I like Reh-pharaoh too :)

Ah! You see, I wasn't sure if that was a more general reference to how love is a charmer because it's so easy to lust after it but it doesn't ...

No problem! Feel free to let me know when/ if you do the re-write as it's a really cool concept for a poem and I definitely think you can make ...

On 7 perhaps if you phrased it more along the lines of 'i work so hard yet I still can't get off my butt...' then it would work because while ...

Typo, what typo? :p

Oh good, as long as I'm useful for something xD I feel like I pick apart your chapters more than I mean to - I really am enjoying the story ...

Yep, always roadworks. That's interesting that you'd say it in the singular! We don't really ever use the singular and yep that's what we mean when we say roadworks - ...

xD Yes, I know which part and I'm sure people can be foolish enough to do things like that! I just feel like there needs to be one sensible person ...

I think we need to understand why the others aren't surprised though? If your readers are surprised and we know very little about this world then someone either needs to ...